Ok, so immediately I digress from my stated challenge and for that I apologise but a friend drew my attention to a track called The Surf by Tuggawar which I couldn’t let pass without comment (I already have a ‘T’ so there’s no need for a full exploration of the back catalogue here, thank Christ).
First off, it’s shit. I mean really, really shit. It’s the sort of track only a mother could love, if she was seriously off her face and couldn’t even tell you for certain what her name was. Don’t believe me? Check out the live video.
Clearly the audience have all been bribed with free booze to attend (and no doubt to help them forget) and most of them still look embarrassed about being there. Well you would be if your face was plastered all over the Internet doin’ da Surf.
I know this all may sound a bit harsh (if it does you quite obviously didn’t click the link and watch the video; I’m yet to make it all the way to the end, it’s that bad) but believe me I was quite prepared to go much, much further. However I feel this would be unfair to Mr War.
Dancehall is not my style of music at all so of course I’m predisposed to hate it, however I can recognise when something is good (and this clearly isn’t). Also, just a little investigation shows that attacking Tuggawar for perhaps the most likely of reasons, white guy from London wishes he was black so sings like a Jamaican to delude himself he is, isn’t entirely fair. Which is a shame really because I was all set to do so.
He is from London, north-east to be precise, but was raised in a West Indian community before moving to Jamaica in 2001 where he started doing his thang alongside the likes of Beenie Man (zim zimmer). So his faux ethnicity actually has some authentic background to support it.
Attacking his obvious shitness is also unfair. I mean when did talent ever count for anything anyway? Milli Vanilli won actual Grammies and they didn’t even sing on their own records they were so rubbish!
And yes, we have seen this kind of crap before too. That’s right Apache Indian, I’m looking at you.
I think 'The Surf' is really good actually
But, you know what. Fair play to the Tuggimiester. He’s obviously doing something he loves and is striving to make a success of it. How many of us would give up the day job if we could live off our hobbies? I would. I know I said we’ve seen this before, but in actuality we’ve pretty much seen it all before. True originality is nigh on impossible these days and at least Tuggawar isn’t yet another homogonised production line pop creation from a reality TV show (Yes, I did buy Killing in the Name and yes, I am aware of the irony that by getting it to number one that facebook group did pretty much what Simon Cowell was doing; telling us all what to buy. My wife says I’m a conformist for buying it).
No, I applaud Tuggawar for having a go, for striving to live his dream, for daring to be different in an over sanitised world of same-o pop.
Even if Zig and Zag did do it better first.
Hey
Dont hold back, say what you really think 
Seriously though. You’re right. The song is not my taste either….and unfortunatley if you’re not a band in the charts (and by chart band I don’t mean something sticklebricked together by Darth Cowell, I mean a band that gets a lot of airplay, either before and after fame….Radio 2 are very good for this…anyway, I digress now!) or something from 40 years ago then you’re not really going to be my cup of tea…….the best bit about the song, beside the end when the torture is over, is the 10 second Surfaris contribution at the very beginning, but then, like I said, I like stuff from 40 years ago!
The video *is* terrible. And poorly performed. You managed to pick out the fact the audience really didn’t want to “do the surf” as instructed……I am sure that any *decent* performer would slap a lipsticked smile on her face and love the fact she’s doing The Surf….despite the cringing inside and the preying this isn’t her personal room 101.
But who knows, if Zig and Zag, Bob the Builder and Mr Blobby can top the charts maybe he can. Even without Simon Cowell’s vast fortune and marketing “genius”. Let’s face it, people have become popular for doing far far less work than he’s done these days……..Yes, Chantelle Houghton, I’m looking at you!
I submitted before I had the chance to say what I wanted to say in the first place!
This post had my laughing my head off….having seen the video and heard the song, all of what you wrote was hilarious.
Consise, brilliantly put without being bitchy.
And witty with it.
We like this style. No sitting on the fence please!